i can't take it

sometimes i feel as if all the boundaries are set and no one can ever break them. i buildt these walls up so no one can touch me and i hate it when someone finally figures out how to do that. i feel not too happy today only because the typical happened. typical, typical, typical. this same thing always happens, but never in this time of the year. i don't get it, what am i supposed to do? everything's on me. i have school today, i have a sore throat today and last but not least i am bored today. i hate being bored. i was awoken by a message i could not fucking care for, seriously? it's as if i have trained myself to awake to the vibrations of my phone. my family doesn't have to ask questions all the time..when they do, it just hurts. why do they care so much? leave me alone. i dont like this feeling, but my conscience is always right, i cant deny it..its probaby true. i can't believe everything i heard i feel like chopping my ears off..this sucks. really. after a while of being happy, that guard i once placed up came down. cool, thanks. so now i have to rebuild it and train myself to not have feelings. i am sick of everyone having everything happen for them, i only get to a few steps and its done. great life i have. i am sick of this shit, it needs to end. secretly a lot tears me up on the inside..and honestly, it all starts with that wall. it's weird. i don't get why God let this happen again..how mean :( I am so sick of this shit, I feel like slapping myself.