When in Doubt, Tell Someone Everyone Hates Them!

Unfortunately, there is a thing called, "past relationships" or "ass holes." Some people fit the mold incredibly well, why others almost meet the half-way mark of the two. In elementary, middle, and high school, no one ever liked me and could not give me a reason why not to. I have always been nice to people and was there whenever they needed me, but peope thought I was a stuck up snob. Apparently, I am not sure where they rendered their information. Personally, I know it was because of the things I owned (bags, jewlery), my confidence (I was a great speaker, my grades were good), and my young Mother who let me do whatever I want. Nothing's wrong with that and it takes an immature person to hate someone for those minial aspects. 

 The other day, this person who really hurt me and was there since those days of middle school, told me  "No wonder everyone hates you." My heart was crushed, how could this person who was my best friend through the darkest hour turn on me like that? I was sitting in my 1A college course with mature people..that is right, MATURE PEOPLE..and I felt like crying. The pit of my stomach turned to mush, I was about to run away and kick the fucking fountain. Instead, I slyly walked down the hall and sat with someone I just befriended. A mature person. Spilling my guts is a common thing I do, but I kept those yucky things inside of me. Was that ass hole right? Does everyone hate me? Sometimes physcologically it feels that way. No one comprehends what it is like to go to school for all those years and never have any friends, lacking tradition, normal moments..One person stuck by my side through this all. She is amazing and I wouldn't trade her for the world. If you said you hated me, she would be in a cab throwing garbage at you. (ahaha) But why stoop so low to tell me everyone hates me? Why? Is it because everyone hates you now? It is not my fault I was defending myself to this person because they treated me like everyother male does, takes me, talks to me, leaves me..REPEAT (with another). I personally think he is jealous, you know why? All I ever see when he is with someone is a cheap replica of me. He could never have me and I doubt he ever will, especially now. That is why he probably told me everyone hates me..everyone probably wants something of me in a way or another and I guess that jerk wants everything.

 Here's my theory: You want to be in my life, respect me. Do not abandon me when the going gets tough. I was sick of holding on to the thread of July, I had to let go. That person is gone now. Yes, it hurt, but I gained so much from dealing with games for almost five years of brutal treatment. I may not attain mainy friends, but I have my one "ride or die" amica. That girl will never leave me. If everyone hates me, sorry they are immature. Grow up and neglect middle school stereotype. This is the real world baby, live in it, get a move on, and get a life.